If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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