Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
