I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
