He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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