meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
