We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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