I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
