So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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