his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
The uberlube is also flammable
Can't talk, ducks in the car
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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