This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
