Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize