just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Is it because I queefed?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
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