pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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