Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
