i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
