your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
