I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Sext me about skeletons
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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