Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
