Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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