I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
