you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
