I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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