I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
