You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
