Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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