I wish I could punch you in the face.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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