Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
