i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
My breasts were aching with rage.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
