my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
