well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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