Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
