i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
