How'd it feel making her break her religion?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
