my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I would ride that face into the sunset
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
