I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
