I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
