he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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