The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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