The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Quick, to the slutcave!
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
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