Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
