forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
