At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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