Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
