I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
