Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
