Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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