Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
The adults are the big ones right?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
