I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
