this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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