There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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