Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
