Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
my poor anus
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
