I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
