Swine flu. Run for my life!
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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