As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
