I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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