Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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