It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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