the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
