I accidentally had phone sex last night
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
