After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
